Marriage or Companionship?

Lately I've been thinking about relationships and marriage. I don't want to get married, but a few people at work have gotten married in the last year and a few are getting married soon. I have made my choices for my life and I stand by them. I don't believe that I will ever get married and there is no way I am having children. But I've been thinking about just companionship. I'm a heterosexual female, educated, funny, etc. I have never been comfortable around men period. When men are around me they always seem to be looking for someone else, but still trying to reel me in as the back up plan. Its insulting to say the least. In my 40 years I have come to the conclusion that it was never meant for me. Maybe I should have become a Nun. Instead I have become a non-religious celibate person not by choice. I would love to be with someone but there are so many things wrong with human beings today I can't even begin to tell you.

No one wants to have real interaction with anyone else. I don't want to meet someone via the computer. I want to meet a real person up close and personal, live and in color! Is that really to much to ask? I guess so. I don't want people that do not know me very well to try and set me up with what they think is best for me. That is always an embarrassing disaster.

I don't want someone to take care of me, marry me, or try to be a porn star in the bedroom. Just be yourself, take an interest in me and who I am, be there for the important things (not working or with your buddies). You can have all the space you want as long as the time we spend together is worthwhile and satisfying (and I do not mean sexually). Two people must make a mental connection or its just sex. I want someone who understands that sexual activity in the beginnings of a relationship is an act of aggression on the part of the man and turns women off to you in the end. It's definitely okay to make out.

Be with me because you want to be with me and not because you feel some obligation to be with me. Be patient and understanding. I am not a woman who makes demands but does have polite requests. If I set boundaries and you do not want to respect them, please go away for ever. Take the time to explore the woman you're with.And I mean really explore and know that it will take time. Let her explore you as well. Slowly open yourself up to her over time. Do not think that you have to know everything right up front so that sex can happen sooner in the relationship. If you bake cookies at a higher temperature than what is called for to shorten the time, what happens? They burn, as will your relationship if you try to move to fast.

Allow the romance to happen. Talk to women in places other than the bars. Try asking a woman a question in the grocery store or the gym. Where ever you are standing in a line....talk to the woman! Its okay if she's married....cuz then you practiced flirting. If she doesn't have a wedding ring on then introduce yourself with a handshake. It means more than you realize. YES you can shake a woman's hand when you introduce yourself. It's not just a man thing.

Can you tell I'm old fashioned? This electronic crap is completely wrong. Chemistry starts with the very first contact and should never be through a phone or computer. I have never had chemistry with a phone or a computer. Have you?

As I believe no one will read this, maybe its just cathartic rant for me. Bye Bye Love.